Merry Christmas

Merry Christmas to all.
And to all, a good night.


Be Careful What You Ask For

me: "Don't leave your swimsuits on the floor - make sure you put them in the bathroom."

the girls:




Guess I forgot to mention the "hang up" and to include the "wet towels" as part of the deal.
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I need an adjective

Gee, has it really been 3 months? Guess so. Oh well - it's bound to happen from time to time.

My word of the day: Obstinate

obstinate - definition of obstinate by the Free Online Dictionary ...Stubbornly adhering to an attitude, opinion, or course of action; obdurate. 2. Difficult to manage, control, or subdue; refractory.
stubborn: tenaciously unwilling or marked by tenacious unwillingness to yield

That's what I thought I was until I actually looked up the word. Make no mistake - That definition definitely fits me. I do have those tendencies, but that's not what I am right now.

Right now, I have a rather unattractive bandage on my nose, since I had a "little surgery" done on Friday to remove some skin cancer (benign, but still needed removal). I've been told to "do nothing" this weekend. I laughed at the young lady giving me those instructions... but I did agree NOT to play soccer with the kids this weekend. I also agreed to stay inside and not get the damn thing wet or sweaty. No gym for me this weekend either. So what do you suppose I've been just dying to do? I want to go swimming. I want to dive down to the bottom of the deepest end and retrieve the toy thrown there. I want to go to the gym and do at least an hour of aerobics. Maybe even a spin class. Yeah - no sweat involved there! I want to run through the sprinklers!

Did I want to do any of these things during the summer when I had time and opportunity to do them? Not particularly. That's why I thought I was obstinate. Maybe I'm more oppositional - but that implies defiance against authorities. Nope - not that. So anyone have the right adjective for me?

Lovely, isn't it? No, that's NOT the adjective I'm looking for.


PB&J, please

I happen to be smack dab in the middle of the sandwich generation. But seeing as how I started over with a little one when my others were sorta kinda getting grown up, I inadvertantly extended the gooey part of this sandwich stuff a little longer.

Last week I left DH & LK to their own devices for a few days while I visited my dad and his wife in Phoenix. I purposefully scheduled the flight so that I wouldn't have to miss a baseball game, nerd that I am, and got into AZ around dinner time.

Somehow I made it to their house on my own. I guess it was probably when he called me to make sure I had the directions to his house that I've driven to oh, maybe 30 or 40 times...

That was probably why I was a little nervous flying out.

But I had no reason to be. Outside of some pretty significant short term memory loss
- he wondered if LK was "ours" now, forgetting that we adopted her more than 4 years ago, and
- he forgot that his granddaughter graduated from college 3 years ago and that he was there for it,
he was pretty much the same. Still plays tennis and bridge. No more golf, though I'm not really sure why. He still bowls, and emails sometimes even. And he's coming up on his 88th birthday.

He does, mostly, remember his grandkids - even the little ones. This can be explained by li'l sis' calendars she makes for him every year with pictures and important dates like birthdays listed on them. He keeps it right in front of his computer monitor. So he's doing pretty well, considering...

Then again consider this scene while we waited for the airport shuttle to pick me up -

Dad: "Do you have enough money?"
me : "Enough money for what?" (No one ever has enough money - everyone knows that!)
Dad: "You know, to get back home."
me : "Oh. That. Yeah, Dad, I think I have enough to get back home." (Bummer - I was hoping he was wondering if I had enough to put my Hoosier through college or something)

Still - I hope I'm in as good a shape as him when I'm 88.

Back to the other 1/2 of the sandwich - we've got an appointment with the school psychologist next week to discuss various things, including learning disabilities. Letcha know how that goes later...


Wish you were here

I'm working today, getting ready to take the rest of the week off. My mother's day present has landed at SFO and DH has picked her up. They find a nice little hangout (which I've been trying to get DH to go to for, oh about 3 years or so) and have a beer. I'm still working - in meetings all afternoon, feeling very sorry for myself, when I get this picture and email:

Wish you were here.


I hate him.


Uh... awkward moment...

We visit LK's birth dad oh, once or twice a year or so. Whenever he gets out of jail or treatment. It's been about a year. I know cuz the last time we saw him, we brought a baseball, bat and gloves to a park and watched them play a little baseball. So he called a few weeks ago saying he was out of jail and going into treatment. Then a couple of weeks ago he called saying he could start having visitors. Next thing I know, he's living at his sister's house, which means he left the treatment facility.

Fortunately, LK's old enough to actually talk on the phone with him now, which is easier than telling him she didn't want to talk to him like I had to do when she was a toddler and didn't want to talk to anyone on the phone, let alone him. I envision more of that reluctance in future years, but we're not there yet.

We are happy to see him, and LK knows when a visit is scheduled. Our visits are fine - no conflict, lots of play, lots of compliments to her, lots of catching him up on pictures, activities and so on. Then we say goodbye, figuring we'll see him once or twice and then not at all for another year or so.

So here's the situation - this whole weekend, LK's been touchy, pouty and prone to sulkiness. She does this now and then, and gets her feelings hurt easily. She doesn't stand up for herself much and just kinds of shuts down. Her teacher is working on this with us. LK also misreads situations frequently and takes offense when there was really no sign of any. But she actually sat out an inning of her game this weekend to pout because someone sat next to someone else. Then when she went back in, she made two outs, pouting all the while. It's like she dissolves into this puddle of mush that is somehow weirdly functional. It seemed more pronounced this time than usual.

What seems to be the key difference here? Maybe the scheduled visit? Does it weigh on her mind when she knows we're going to see him? Is that the X factor that makes her so fragile at times? Seems likely - or is that just me trying to assign a logical reason to something that might just be a typical little 1st grader grumpiness?

So what to do? I don't want to avoid the visits - I think in the long run, it's better for her to know that he wanted to maintain contact - at least in whatever way he can. And that we were always open to that. But I hate like heck to see her fall apart so easily.

There's always this awkward moment at the end of our visit when we say goodbye and he gives her a kiss. We all know he expects one from her too, but she's so not there. He gets a little half hearted hug, but that's about all. Sigh...
I guess awkward moments are a given, and so are the labile, fragile occasional weekends. At least for a while.

btw - the visit was fine, she beat him at air hockey and we ate pretty crappy pizza and ended up with about 17 bouncy balls. Oh, and the awkward moment when he gave her a kiss and then said, "Where's mine?". After the halfhearted hug he got instead, we were off to see "Earth" with her Brownie troop, where she sulked for about an hour before perking up and having fun with a friend who stuck it out with her. What a weekend.

At least we got to see Baby G on Saturday! Check out the preshus feets... and face...